Voldemort In Variuos Places
by LivinLaVidaLou
Summary: All about the places you could find Voldemort if he were trying to learn to live in society. Oh Joy:
1. Chapter 1

_I'm trying to find new ideas for stories that people will like so please tell me what you like._

_Anyway this is what would happen if Voldemort was at a therapist _

_hope you like it:)_

_Enjoy:)_

* * *

**Therapist///**Voldemort

**T: So tell me about yourself**

V: I'm Lord Voldemort

**T: I see, tell me more in dept**

V:Well... It's V-O-L-D-

**T: NO!(calms down) lets start with your childhood.**

V: Lets not and say we did.

**T:Okay (fake smile) Let's start anew. Why are you so stubborn (struggles to keep voice steady)**

V: Me? Stubborn? No... I'm just not going up to a person who goes by a name that sounds like something a urine tester would say.

**T:What?**

V: "There-A-piss"

**T: Charming(scribbles something)**

V: What are you writing down? Are you scripting me?

**T: No I have to...**

V:I refuse to speak if my words will be copied down.

**T: No I have to-**

V: And further more-

**T: (Losing her cool)I HAVE TO WRITE IT OR ELES I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SEND A CORRECT VIEW OF YOU TO YOUR MINISTRY!**

V: (shocked) Usually when people speak to me like that I kill them.

**T: Why?**

V: (shrugs) I want them to listen to me.

**T: Why?**

V: I desire power.

**T: Why?**

V:You know that can get really annoying.

**T: Well it helps to get something out of you.**

V: Why?

**T: Because you refuse to talk to me**

V: Why?

**T: (Hysterical) I DON'T KNOW, NOW WILL YOU STOP!**

V: (satisfied) Told you it was annoying.

**T: I can't deal with you!(gets up ready to leave)**

V: (desperately) No, everyone always leaves me..

**T:(Sits back down) What do you mean?**

V:(awkwardly) Everyone who ever talks to me leaves, or I kill them, whichever comes first.

**T: Why do you kill people?**  
V: I like the feeling. I love seeing the lights leave their eyes. I crave the sound of the begging for the mercy of themselves of their children. I love killing kids, they always scream for their parents, I never had parents, so I feel no sorrow for them.

**T: (hold clipboard over face, clearly scared) OOOkay.**

V:(continues) I love when they try to fight back too. I am so more powerful then them and they think they can beat me (laughs evilly). I need to kill something.. now(looks at scared therapist with hunger in his eyes)

**T:(Calms down) I do not fear death Voldemort. Nor do I fear you. I only fear fear itself, and you, you are not fear.**

V: (confused) You aren't scared that I may kill you?

**T: That and I know you can't, for this is an anti magic room, no spells can be performed here.**

V:(mumbles) No fun.

**T: Do you want to continue?**

V:(child-like) No (crosses arms)

**T: Dumbledore won't like that you aren't talking to he.**

V: To hell with him.

**T:(scribbles something down) I fear you are insecure.**

V: (adult-like) You sa(mocking her) 'I fear nothing but fear itself'

**T: I do, but your insecurity is fear itself.**

V: Your big words sicken me

**T: Thank you. I took and English class after Hogwarts.**

V: I took and assen job after Hogwarts. (says happily as though those to compare)

**T: Alright-y then,(whispers) thats scary(speaks up) How nice, why did you take that job?**

V: I like to kill.

**T: Why?**

V: Here you go again.

**T: Why does it make you mad that I ask questions?**

V: I don't like talking to strangers, or just plain, I don't like talking to humans.

**T: Then who do you talk to?**

V: My snake

**T:(gulps) You can talk to snakes?**

V: (ordinarily) Of course I can, she's quite a chatter box too. Always on about mice.

**T: We're running out of time.**

V:Finally.

**T: You planned to stall me?**

V: Duh! I'm Lord Voldemort.

**T:But I still haven't gotten what I wanted So I'm afraid I'll have to see you back.**

V: (whines) But I'm a problem child! I shall never be changed! Just lock me in Azkaban! Let Me Rot!

**T:(ignores him completely) So until I meet with you again I shall reccomend you to a group confession.**

V: Oh joy.

**T: See you soon(gets up to leave)**

V: Don't plan on it( says as walks out of the room)

**T:(keeps packing up) I shall never understand him.**

V: (outside the room, happily) And no one ever will(laughs evilly, as walks out of office)

_Oh I do so Love Voldemort, and his teenager-ish ways._

_I will keep adding on places to this_

_Oh what fun!_

_tHANKS FOR READING:)_

_LivinLaVidaLou._


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey hey hey!_

_I don't know what happened_

_But most the these chapters got deleted_

* * *

_So I must start anew:)_

(Green Flash. Therapist uncovers her eyes and Voldemort looks happily at his work.)

T: Well (dusts her sleeves off) now you have destroyed half my office, are you ready to sit down?

V: I now feel achieved.

T: Right, now sit. (Both sit) I have been reading your files and it says you have a pet snake?

V: Tell me something I don't know.

T: Yes, well my research shows snakes are very vicious animals, which might explain your vicious attitude.

V:(Acts as if suddenly woke up) Oh, I'm sorry I'm waiting for you to say something actually worth my time.

T: That is what I'm talking about, your strange sense of acting out and just well, being a jackass, worries me. You may not be fit for society, so I must strip you-

V: Whoa, your going to have to pay me for that.

T: Of all things I believe are making you hostile.

V: Let me get this straight. **You** are going to tell **me** what to do, and **you** are going to make **me** change **my** life, when **I **can kill **you** while we are just sitting here?

T: Do you hear yourself?

V: Loud and clear, and I find myself a very interesting person to talk to.

T: That is why you must change not for me or anyone else but for yourself.

V: Why do I have to change? I'm already the most perfect person I know.

T: (getting irritated) Look you can listen and come with me, or we can stay here, with you staying the same, and destroy my office some more.

V: Is it really my choice?

T: NO!

(Moments later Voldemort and Therapist are in her car.)

V: Please?

T: No

V: They are basically asking for it!

T: No they are not.

V: It's like target practice, just let me hit one.

T: They are just pedestrians, they are not bothering you.

V: (points wand at her) I could hit you.

T: ( sighs) Fine, if it will get you to stop whining like a child, you can hit one. And ONLY one. (leans down in seat to not be seen.

(Voldemort shoots spell at passerby)

T: Oh my goodness! (drives faster, while Voldemort laughs)

V: That was fun.

T: You're sick!

V: I find that offensive, I am quite healthy.

T: Mentally, how can you find that fun.

V: You're the therapist, use some of your psychic mambo-jumbo and tell me why I think that fun. I mean since you know _everything._

(Parks car)

T: Luckily we are here, or I might have crashed the car.( gets out.)

V: Wouldn't bother me, I could have gotten out.

(Therapist watches him as he still sits in the car.)

T: Is there a reason you're not getting out?

V: Aren't you going to open the door for me.

T: Um, no!

V: Well you shut it for me.

T: So I could make sure we got in and stayed in. Now I'll be inside come in when you're not a prince anymore and can open the door for yourself. (leaves)

(Voldemort growls and get out. After out he examines the parking meter.)

Stranger: Excuse me sir, do you know where a nearest pharmacy is? (Voldemort turns around)

S: (screams) Evil walks among us, you cannot be human!

V: Well that wasn't very nice, hopefully death will teach you some manners (takes out wand)

T: (looking flustered, takes Voldemort's wand) I'm sorry ma'am it's just his hall-o-ween costume, he refuses to take it off. (Drags Voldemort inside.

V: You're lucky I didn't scream, you could have been arrested for assault.

T: Oh, big bad Voldemort would have to call muggle police to take down little woman therapist.

V: You took my wand! Give it back! Or I'll-

T: Use it on me?

V: Do you know the punishment for taking my wand!

T: I don't care, you'll get it back once you pick a nice new pet. How about this one? (hols up big fluffy bunny.

V: I think I've coughed up something like that once.

T: Oh you are disgusting(puts in down) What about this? (Hamster)

V: My snake could eat that and still have room for that bunny.

(Minutes pass by and they have still not found a pet)

V: I want that one.

T: You cannot have a spider.

V: I want that one

T: You cannot have a scorpion.

V: I want that one.

T: You cannot have another snake.

V: But I want that that one.

T: Here is the deal you go back in the car, I pick the pet and I give you your wand back. Deal?

V: Fine (leaves)

(After only 10 minutes Therapist comes back,)

T: Here is your wand, and your new pet. (starts to drive)

V: What the hell is this?

T: It's a mouse, its small and soft and very nice. To give you nice feelings and thoughts.

V: Want to give me some lipstick and nail polish to? What made you think I wanted this?

T: I was not thinking of you when I got it.

(Drive to Voldemort house. He gets out and goes into it. Nagini slithers up to him.)

V: Good afternoon Nagini, I've brought you dinner. (feed new pet mouse to her, when she eats it he strokes her head.) Good girl.

_Even I found this somewhat weird,_

_But I hope you liked it:)_

_Thanks for reading,_

_LivinLaVidaLou_


End file.
